A Reddit user asks if he is in the wrong for skipping his sister’s wedding, even though he was asked not to bring his boyfriend to the ceremony.
A Torn Relationship
A Reddit user wrote in a thread about his recent decision to not attend his sister’s wedding after she made comments about his boyfriend being at the festivities.
They Used to Be Close
OP (Original Poster) (23M) used to be super close with his older sister (29F).
Growing up, he looked up to her so much.
When OP came out as gay at 14, his sister was super supportive, but everything changed when she met her now husband during her senior year of college.
Things Started to Change
After she met her boyfriend, now her husband, their relationship started to change, and things started to turn negative.
He grew up in a very traditional Christian household.
The New Norm
When OP would talk about guys, his sister would get visibly uncomfortable and change the subject.
One time when her fiancé was on Facetime with OP and her, OP mentioned a Tinder date with a guy, and she told him OP was joking.
OP was worried that this was going to be the new behavioral norm for his sister.
They Grew Apart
OP and his sister sort of grew apart as they got older. OP moved to California for college while she stayed in Alabama.
They still called each other, but OP stopped talking about his love life with her.
A Wedding Date Is Set
When OP’s sister’s BF proposed, he was happy for her, though he hadn’t gotten to know the now-fiance super well. They set a date for a year later.
A few months after, OP met his current boyfriend of 8 months. Coincidentally, OP found out that his boyfriend’s birthday was also the day of his sister’s wedding.
They talked about it and decided to celebrate his birthday on a different day.
He Brings His Date to the Wedding
Three weeks ago, OP told his sister he was planning on bringing his boyfriend to her wedding since she had originally told him he could bring a plus-one.
OP decided to bring his boyfriend to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.
The Newlyweds Did Not Respond Well
At dinner, OP noticed his sister seemed somewhat distant.
At one point, OP could see her sister’s fiancé looking toward OP’s boyfriend and whispering, “They’re going to make me and my family uncomfortable.”
She Told Him No
After dinner, OP’s sister pulled him aside and told him she didn’t think OP should bring his BF to the wedding.
OP asked her why, and she said they were having a traditional wedding in a church, and she just wanted things to be a certain way.
OP was pretty offended, and OP asked her why she had a problem with him being gay when she hadn’t said anything before. She said it was fine that OP was gay, but OP shouldn’t force it on everyone else.
He Was Extremely Hurt
OP told his boyfriend, and since they were both hurt by his sister’s comment, they decided to skip the wedding.
After all that, OP and his BF decided to go out for a birthday celebration.
OP felt guilty for missing his sister’s wedding. OP felt so invalidated during that rehearsal dinner, but the decision had been made and couldn’t be undone.
He Skipped the Wedding
OP’s sister hasn’t spoken to him since the wedding.
OP was supposed to be a groomsman, and he texted her the morning to tell her he wasn’t coming.
She didn’t reply. OP does think he owes her an apology but does believe she owes him one.
Turning to Reddit
When OP posted his story, many Reddit users came to his defense. They believe the sister was in the wrong for making those comments and ultimately causing OP to feel uncomfortable for being there.
What do you think? Should OP apologize to his sister for not attending her wedding?
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