A Reddit user asked if they were in the wrong for calling out their boyfriend for forcing her to pay for all of his essentials, even when he has his own money.
Boyfriend’s Drastic Career Change
The Original Poster (OP) explains that her boyfriend (38M) quit his full-time job over a year ago because he didn’t enjoy it.
He currently works a two-hour cleaning job at night that pays him enough to “barely get by,” as per his words.
Unemployed Sister-In-Law Moves in With Them
OP also revealed that her boyfriend’s sister (49F) has recently returned from overseas and is presently living with him.
The sister is unemployed and shares no interest in finding a job.
OP Questions Her Boyfriend’s Financial Role
OP’s boyfriend covers all her expenses and supports her, despite how he manages to do so is unclear.
This situation disturbs OP as she feels her boyfriend is taking advantage of her and freeloading off her in this situation.
OP Feels Like She’s Always Footing the Bill
OP provides an example of how her boyfriend subtly takes advantage of her by asking her to place his groceries in her cart while shopping and paying for them together.
She Is Nervous to Talk About Money
OP admits to being apprehensive about having a financial disagreement with her partner as he has previously displayed oversensitivity and gets offended easily during such conversations.
He Mocked Her For It
Therefore, she agrees to his requests without any further discussion. However, as a result, she has two outstanding tabs that he owes her.
Once, when she sent him an Excel sheet of the breakdown, he mocked her and made an offensive comment by referring to her by name-calling.
Suspicious Behavior of Boyfriend
OP mentions that her boyfriend stays over at her apartment every weekend, and even before his sister moved in with him, he would never invite OP to his apartment on weekends.
She believes this behavior began after he quit his job.
He Is Taking Advantage of Her Space
Although she is not entirely sure, she thinks that he might want to spend time at her place merely to take advantage of her cable and food, so he doesn’t have to use up what he has at home.
OP Calls Out Boyfriend’s Unfair Grocery Shopping Habits
OP said she spoke up after a recent trip to the grocery store.
Her boyfriend bought his sister shampoo and a candle and paid for them himself. However, he placed his groceries in OP’s basket.
Calling Him Out
As her boyfriend was leaving her apartment, OP took his food out of the freezer and asked him to reimburse her.
He responded in a whiny, joking tone, saying “I am poor!” OP replied, “Clearly, you’re not that poor if you can afford to buy candles for your sister.”
The Excuse That Doesn’t Cut It for OP
OP’s boyfriend became angry and accused her of being nasty.
But OP is fed up with the situation and feels that he is becoming absurd. She wonders if she was in the wrong for making that comment. Nevertheless, her boyfriend still has not paid her back.
Reddit Users Weigh In
Reddit users overwhelmingly agree that OP is not the jerk in this situation. They are critical of OP’s boyfriend for being a freeloader, an anti-Semite, and generally unpleasant.
One user stated “I hope you see this relationship is going nowhere. He’s been happy to be unemployed for over a year. He keeps a job that only pays him enough to get by. He’s relying on you to feed him and his sister. Then gaslights you to convince you to keep doing it and stop questioning it.”
Reddit Users Suggest the End of the Relationship
Some suggest that OP should end the relationship, while others suggest setting boundaries with the boyfriend and no longer paying for his groceries.
Many commenters express surprise that OP has stayed with the boyfriend for so long despite his negative behavior.
Some speculate that the boyfriend may be married to his supposed sister or otherwise hiding something from OP. Reddit users encourage OP to prioritize their well-being and happiness and consider ending the relationship if necessary.
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The post She’d Had Enough of Her Freeloading Boyfriend, so She Called Him Out. He Says She’s Being Nasty! first appeared on Mama Say What?!
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