A mother turned to Reddit to ask if they were in the wrong for removing vegetables from their child’s burger despite the differing opinion of their husband.
A Special Outing as a Family
The Original Poster (OP) is a 39-year-old mother of three children, a 6-year-old daughter, a 9-year-old son, and a 12-year-old daughter. She and her 40-year-old husband recently made the decision to take their children to a local restaurant as a special treat, as they do not do this often.
He Is Restrictive of Their Food Choices
The husband is known to be quite health-conscious and is often restrictive of the types of food that the children are allowed to eat, which has caused disagreements between the couple.
The Daughter Wanted a Cheeseburger
The children were thrilled to be at the restaurant. When the server asked them what they would like to eat, Emily, OP’s 12-year-old daughter, enthusiastically requested a cheeseburger with bacon.
He Insisted She Added Vegetables
However, OP’s husband interjected and added that the burger should also have lettuce and tomato. Emily’s expression immediately dropped, but her father did not seem to notice. As a result, Emily appeared disappointed.
She Was Upset By This
Once the server had taken their orders, OP’s husband noticed that Emily appeared upset and asked her what was wrong. Emily revealed that she did not want lettuce and tomato on her burger as she did not like them.
He Said It Was Important for Her to Add Veggies
Her father let out a sigh and told her that they had gone through this many times before and that it was crucial for her to have vegetables with every meal. Emily looked like she was on the verge of tears.
He Was Not Empathetic Towards Her
She is neurodivergent, and certain tastes and textures of food can be very challenging for her, with tomatoes being a significant example. OP’s husband did not seem to be empathetic towards Emily’s concerns, which greatly concerned OP.
She Removed Them in Secret
When the food arrived at the table, Emily did not even touch her burger. Later on, while OP’s husband was in the restroom, OP removed the lettuce and tomato from Emily’s burger and added them to her own.
He Brought It Up Later
She then winked at Emily, who smiled and proceeded to enjoy her burger. Although OP’s husband did not say anything at the time, he brought up the incident later that evening.
Called It a Betrayal of Trust
During the conversation, OP’s husband expressed that removing the vegetables from Emily’s burger was a betrayal of his trust, as he was attempting to ensure that their daughter had a nutritious meal.
She Didn’t Think It Was a Big Deal
In response, OP argued that it was just one meal and that the absence of vegetables on that occasion was not a big deal. Her husband continued to insist that consuming vegetables was essential.
Trying to Avoid Their Partner
Subsequently, OP left the room and has been avoiding interacting with her husband as much as possible.
Wondering if She Was in the Wrong?
Seeking advice, OP turned to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong for taking the vegetables off her daughter’s burger. While she acknowledged the importance of her husband’s desire for their children to consume vegetables, she felt that his behavior was overly controlling and did not want to see her daughter upset.
Learning From Others
OP provided an update on the situation. After reading through many of the comments and learning about other people’s struggles with eating disorders and food-related trauma, OP decided to talk with her older children about the possibility of getting therapy.
Reddit Users’ Comments
The majority of Reddit users seem to side with OP, calling out her husband’s controlling behavior and expressing concern for their child’s relationship with food.
Many of them stress the importance of allowing children to have some control over what they eat, especially if they have sensory issues or other difficulties with certain foods.
Some users even suggest that this kind of behavior from a parent could lead to the development of an eating disorder.
However, a few users took a different stance, arguing that OP was in the wrong for taking the vegetables off her daughter’s burger without discussing it with her husband.
They suggested that both parents should work together to find a solution that works for everyone, rather than keeping secrets from each other. Some users suggested that family counseling could be helpful in resolving the issue.
What do you think? What would you have done in OP’s shoes?
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The post She Tried to Keep the Peace and Secretly Removed Veggies From Her Daughter’s Burger, Her Husband Accused Her of Breaking His Trust. It’s Just One Cheat Meal! first appeared on Mama Say What?!
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