Family dynamics can be complex, especially when it comes to matters of acceptance and support. In a recent Reddit post, a mother shares her experience of taking in her nephew, who is a transgender teenager, after their own parents failed to provide understanding and compassion.
She Has Five Kids Of Her Own
The Original Poster (OP) is a 39-year-old who has five kids of her own.
Her Oldest Child Came Out to Her
Her eldest, Jess, revealed to her that she was a Trans woman while OP was expecting her now-3-year-old.
Although it was unexpected, OP has done everything in her power to help her daughter.
She Supported Her
OP struggled to get her on hormones, and she has been saving for any future gender-affirming surgery their daughter might need.
Her Trans Daughter Was Welcomed by Many but Not All
Jess was welcomed by the majority of OP’s immediate family members, but they had to cut out a lot of people because not everyone was in favor of Jess.
OP says she doesn’t feel bad about it.
Her Cousin Was Against It
OP’s cousin Jennie and her husband Dan are two examples of people OP cut out. OP spoke with them during family get-togethers before Jess’ transition, but they were never really close.
Jennie sent OP a lengthy text message stating that even though she loved OP’s “son,” they couldn’t support this “phase of his.”
Then OP stopped them right away and stopped talking to them. OP hasn’t seen them since then. Her cousin now has her own children.
They Reached Out to Her
The story began when her cousin’s middle child contacted OP two months ago and requested to see her.
When OP went to see her nephew, it was obvious that the 19-year-old was in pain.
Her Cousin Didn’t Accept Her Trans Nephew
As they spoke, he acknowledged that he had attempted to come out to his parents on his own, but they had rejected him and blamed OP’s daughter for planting thoughts in his head.
He continued to live as a girl in the presence of his parents who would make transphobic comments about OP’s daughter they no longer spoke to.
She Welcomed Him
As a result, OP said he is always welcome at her house. A week later they moved in. Since then, he has been with OP’s family.
He’s chosen a name, Mason, and he already exudes such joy.
He Wanted to Use Her Last Name
He recently requested permission to use OP’s last name when he formally requested a name change as he claimed that he no longer felt like his parents’ child.
OP agreed to it.
Her Cousin Accused Her of Preying on Their Child
Since he has been here, his parents have shouted at him on the phone rather than ever asking him how he is, if he is secure, etc.
They have demonized OP and her daughter in several Facebook posts that Mason himself has shown OP, alleging that OP has “preyed” on their defenseless daughter. At every turn, they’ve given him a dead name.
OP says she doesn’t believe she did anything improperly here.
Her Family Was Split
However, a friend of OP’s claimed that by allowing him to adopt OP’s last name, OP is destroying any hope of reconciliation with his parents. The friend further stated that OP should be trying to urge his parents to welcome him, it’s like OP’s claiming him as her own child and pushing them away.
Others believe that OP shouldn’t have gotten involved at all, and his parents are certain that OP ought to have avoided it. Some family members advised OP to wait it out till his parents accept the name change.
But OP says all she wants is for Mason to feel at ease.
Readers Showered Their Support
OP took to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for what she did. Several Redditors sided with OP and shared that she was not wrong.
One Reddit user wrote, “You did a wonderful thing for this young man. It’s clear he very much appreciates you. He is 19 and this name choice is his choice, not yours. The only thing I’d suggest is letting him know changing his last name is a big deal and will be hard to change later so you just want him to be positive that it’s what he wants. You’re honored, but regardless of his last name he is still your family and that’s all that matters.”
Another Redditor commented, “You can never be a [jerk] to save someone from homophobia, especially this kind of virulent case. Jess and Mason living their best lives is both the deserved outcome and sharpest revenge.”
So what do you think? Was OP in the wrong here?
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The post She Took in Her Trans Nephew Who Wanted to Get Away From His Transphobic Parents. Now His Parents Are Accusing Her of Preying on Their Child first appeared on Mama Say What?!
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Source: Reddit