A young mother recently took to Reddit to ask for opinions after she refused to bend over backward to plan her dad’s visit around his wife’s demands. This is her complete story.
Meet the Baby!
The Original Poster (OP) is a 29-year-old woman who recently had a baby daughter.
She lives in a different country from her divorced parents, and they each came to meet the baby on separate trips.
Dad Wanted to Come Back
OP’s father first came to see the baby when she was one month old. And when she was 7 months old, he started making plans to come back to visit again.
He Was Bringing His Wife
For the return trip, OP’s dad wanted to bring his wife with him.
OP was fine with that, but she made it clear that the focus was on seeing her dad and having him spend time with his new granddaughter.
She Asked to Make Changes
Even though OP laid the groundwork, OP’s stepmother started to make demands as the trip grew nearer.
A week out, she asked specifically to change plans that OP had made long before.
She Wanted to Control Everything
OP’s stepmother all of a sudden wanted to plan visits to faraway locations when she visited, and she wanted to change the restaurants that OP had picked out for their meals.
She even suggested changing the dates of their visit to suit her.
She Was Getting Frustrated
As her stepmother grew more and more demanding, OP became more frustrated.
She had spent a lot of time and effort organizing the trip with her father and daughter in mind.
She Dreaded Every Ding
So OP continued to push back when her dad’s wife made her demands, but the demands kept coming anyway.
The stepmother’s texts became a real source of dread for OP.
The Final Straw
It all came to a head when the stepmother decided that she just HAD to sightsee in a particular town when they visited OP.
It Was a Long Trip
The trouble was that the town is 2 hours away from where OP lives, and the stepmother wanted everyone to go on the side trip.
She made this request even though she knew OP had everything planned out.
She Could Go On Her Own
OP told her stepmother that there was no way she was making 4 hour roundtrip with her infant just so her dad’s wife could see a town.
She suggested that her stepmother could rent a car and go on her own time.
It Just Wasn’t Fair
That response annoyed OP’s stepmother and she said she was already going to be spending her own time by coming to visit.
She also told OP that she had always wanted to visit that specific town and it was selfish of the younger woman to deny her that opportunity.
She Could Just Stay Home
OP was fed up at that point and told her stepmother that “plus ones” don’t get to dictate the schedule when they visit.
She also said that the older woman didn’t have to come at all if she didn’t like the plans OP had made.
Dad Was Mad
OP’s dad followed up with her after that exchange, and he was angry because he said she made her stepmother feel unwelcome.
OP told him that his wife is welcome to come along, but that she needs to respect the purpose of the visit.
She Wanted Them to Spend Time Together
OP then reminded her dad what that purpose was – for him to spend more time with his granddaughter after 6 months apart.
She Wonders If She Overstepped
Redditors are divided in their opinions of this story. A lot of commenters think OP is completely justified for telling her stepmother that she doesn’t get to call the shots.
Others think OP is mostly right, but that she was unnecessarily rude in her responses to her dad’s wife. And some Redditors think that OP is too inflexible and could give her stepmother a little leeway in picking a restaurant or day trip here and there.
So, what do you think about this story? Was OP right for shutting down her stepmother’s requests? Or was she too curt in her responses?
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The post She Told Her Stepmother That She’s Just a Plus-One and Can’t Decide How They Spend Time on an Upcoming Visit first appeared on Mama Say What?!
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.