Growing up, we all hope for a strong and healthy relationship with our parents. We hope that they will support us, guide us, and love us unconditionally.
Unfortunately, that is not always the case. For one young woman, the relationship with her father has become strained, and she is questioning whether or not she is the one at fault.
Not a Model Father
The original poster (OP) is a 19-year-old who has come to the realization that her father is not the kind of person or parent she wants to be when she grows older.
Her Father Has Some Toxic Behavior
Her father speaks to his own parents very poorly and gets angry with them very easily.
However, if OP were to behave in the same way, she would be yelled at and grounded.
Is It a Phase?
She wonders if she is simply going through a teenage phase or if her father’s behavior is genuinely problematic.
Her Father Is Forgetful
OP’s father’s tendency to forget is one of his worst weaknesses.
She says he never remembers what she says to him.
For example, OP informed her father months in advance and continued telling him very frequently that she was going to a concert. He didn’t remember.
Her Father Always Quarrels With Her
Then he became extremely angry with her for not telling him and threatened to stop letting her go.
But OP ended up attending in the end, although she says it was still a difficult experience to face all the yelling and rage.
They Have Set up a Calendar System
As a result, OP and her family have set up a Google Calendar system so that they always have each other’s schedules available. This helps prevent situations from occurring in the future.
OP shared that the system includes everything she does, including all of her shifts at her part-time job, university schedule, exams, and any time she’s out with friends.
Every week, OP follows the same plan for her job and university and has been following it for more than six months.
Her Father Doesn’t Follow the Calendar
Despite this, her father still asks her what she has planned for the day, and she calmly says every single week that she has work or classes.
OP also playfully advises him to look up the answer on Google Calendar.
OP shares that her father also never bothers to ask how her day at the university or her shift at work was after she gets home.
Things Took a Turn
However, things took a turn when she ran out of patience and became irate with him.
OP said to her father that she observes her friend’s fathers and they are always aware of what her friends are doing and constantly inquire about how they are doing and how their day has been.
She Says What’s on Her Mind
OP sincerely doesn’t recall her father ever doing it for her.
She acknowledges that there are many more things that her father has done throughout her life that have contributed to this conflict.
Her Father Was Angry
As a result, her father became enraged and yelled at her, telling her that from now on, their communication will only take place via Google Calendar.
He also threatened to move her out if she didn’t change her attitude.
She Reflected on What Happened
OP went to her room and is thinking whether she was wrong for shouting at her father.
She Is Seeking Advice
She took to Reddit to ask their view and many sided with OP.
One Reddit user shared that they can totally understand this, and her father sees no effort and only anxiety-inducing behavior from his end and that can be crippling.
What do you think? Is OP correct for confronting her father or is she being overly dramatic?
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The post She Thinks Her Dad Is Toxic and Forgetful, but Are His Efforts Lost on Her Teenage Angst? first appeared on Mama Say What?!
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Dean Drobot. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Source: Reddit