The struggles of being a single mother are well-known and widely discussed. But what happens when a single mother enters a serious relationship with someone who already has children of their own? The Original Poster (OP) took to Reddit to ask if she was expecting too much.
She Found Love
OP has been dating her boyfriend, Mike, for almost two years now.
During that time, they’ve become very serious, and they’re starting to discuss the possibility of living together.
But It’s Complicated
But there’s a complication: Mike has two daughters, Jasmine (12) and Maya (13), from his previous marriage, and OP has a daughter, Sara (10), from her previous relationship.
He’s on Good Terms With His Ex
When they first started dating, Mike made it clear that he and his ex-wife have a good co-parenting relationship and are still friends.
OP struggled with jealousy but eventually learned to accept their relationship for the sake of the children. But now, other issues are causing her concern.
The father of OP’s daughter has never been an active parent and has never met Sara.
OP herself grew up in care, so she has no family of her own, while Mike is divorced and shares custody of his daughters with his ex-wife.
Their custody agreement is flexible, and the girls spend equal amounts of time at both parents’ homes.
They Treat Her Daughter Differently
But despite the fact that OP and Mike’s relationship is going well, there are some significant obstacles to overcome.
One of the biggest is Mike’s parents’ treatment of Sara. Despite having met her a few times, they seem to treat her like a stranger.
It Wasn’t Enough for Her Mom
During Christmas, her boyfriend’s parents showered Jasmine and Maya with many gifts, while Sara only received an embroidered blanket with her name on it, two gift vouchers, and a doll.
They Barely Know Her
Additionally, Mike’s parents take his daughters for overnight sleepovers but exclude Sara, claiming they don’t know her well enough yet to feel comfortable looking after her.
OP believes that Sara should be treated the same as Jasmine and Maya and included in these events.
She Views Herself Differently Than They Do
She views Jasmine and Maya as bonus daughters and wants them to be friends with Sara, but they have made it clear that they see Sara as nothing more than “dad’s girlfriend’s daughter.”
This rejection hurts Sara, who just wants to be included. OP believes it is only fair Sara is treated the same as Jasmine and Maya since they are all part of Mike’s family.
She reached her breaking point when Mike’s parents offered to pay for Mike, OP, and their daughters to go to Disneyland Paris.
Is That All?!
While this sounds great, they told OP that they could only contribute to some of her and her daughter’s travel expenses, and she would have to pay the rest herself.
OP told Mike that his parents needed to treat Sara like their other grandchildren, but Mike became defensive and accused her of being selfish and jealous.
He Fights Back
He argued that his parents have been accommodating to Sara, including her in events and buying her gifts, but OP believes that his parents should treat Sara as a full family member.
She Thinks Her Daughter Is Being Excluded
OP feels hurt by the way that Mike’s parents and children treat Sara. She wants Sara to be treated equally to Jasmine and Maya and for his family to include her in family activities.
He Thinks She’s in the Wrong!
Mike, on the other hand, does not see any issue and feels that she is being unreasonable.
Mike told her that he was raising his daughters to learn the value of the word no and that Sara can’t expect to get whatever she wants.
They Did Offer!
He said it’s perfectly reasonable for his parents to expect her to pay to take her child to Disneyland, and at least they offered some contribution!
After All, They’re Not Siblings
Mike also said that Jasmine and Maya are not Sara’s sisters and emphasized that he’d never told them that.
They don’t view Sara as a sister, and that’s how Mike wants them to be.
He told OP that she needs to get her ass “in gear and realise nothing is being done to discriminate against or exclude Sara.”
She took to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong for how she expected her boyfriend’s parent’s to treat her daughter, and the results were surprising.
Reddit Users Weren’t Happy
Redditors overwhelmingly thought this woman was too intense. They thought it sounded like his family was trying to help and were giving thoughtful gifts, but that OP was ungrateful.
They thought it was great that OP’s boyfriend’s parents had offered to pay some of their travel fares, especially considering they’re not married and had only met OP’s daughter a few months ago.
One user said, “you’re in the wrong, especially for the comment over the gift his mom made. She spent ‘weeks’ and you disregard it completely because it’s not designer or fancy. That’s just mean”
What do you think about this story? Was She expecting too much from his parents?
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The post She Expects Her Boyfriend’s Parents to Treat Her Daughter Like They Do Their Own Granddaughters. They’re Paying for an Upcoming Trip to Disneyland. Is It Too Much to Expect Them to Pay For Her Daughter Too? first appeared on Mama Say What?!
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Ekateryna Zubal. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.