A recent Reddit thread saw a stepmother asking if she was wrong for not inviting her stepson on holiday with them.
An Extended Family
This 26-year-old woman (OP – the Original Poster) married her partner, a 26-year-old man, and they have three kids between them. She has two daughters, aged 9 and 7, and her husband has a 12-year-old son.
Her stepson used to stay at their house on the weekends, however, as he has to share a room with his stepsisters, he recently decided he doesn’t want to stay anymore.
She thinks this is fair enough, as he is getting older and wants his own space, plus she thinks he is getting too old to share now anyway.
He Needs His Own Space
OP explained that she doesn’t have a problem with this and that her stepson needs to do what is best for him.
She’s not going to force him to come to their house all the time when he doesn’t want to and adds that he doesn’t want to spend any time there whatsoever anyway. Her stepson wants to spend all his time at his grandma’s.
Last year the whole family went away, her stepson had his own room on holiday, and they all had a great time.
She had planned to book a holiday for the end of this year but told her husband she wouldn’t pay for his son to come.
He’s Not Invited to the Family Vacation
She explained this was because he wouldn’t have spent any time with the family by the time they went away and probably wouldn’t enjoy going away with them for a week.
She adds that she thinks her stepson doesn’t enjoy being around her kids anymore and doesn’t really like her.
Her husband got angry and accused her of purposely leaving his son out of family events just to be spiteful.
She explained that, in reality, she’s the one who pays for everything: holidays, clothes, food, and activities.
When she’s on holiday, she wants to enjoy herself and let her kids enjoy themselves without her stepson moaning about being there in the first place.
He Can Be a Bit of a Wet Blanket
As this happened on their last holiday, she was worried it would happen again.
OP doesn’t want to pay for someone who doesn’t want to be there in the first place and ends the post asking, “Should I just pay for him and get on with it?”
Reddit user Ezana_aksum responded so saying she was wrong, adding, “Your life style excludes him. Your spouse should be doing more so yall can afford a new place where there is space for him.”
Individual-Tale-6287 agreed, saying, “I thought the same. Forget the holiday, how about saving up so he has a comfortable place to stay and feels welcome when he’s there.”
TellmeTom2 responded with, “YTA you may as well have just written “I don’t like my step son so I’m going to continue to exclude him from family activities as much as I can.”
They added, “He’s 12, not 18… Ask if he would like to go, if he says no then fair enough. If he says yes then suck it up, he’s still part of the family.”
Karenna89 agreed, saying the stepmother “goes out of her way to stress how much she doesn’t care “AT ALL” that stepson doesn’t want to spend time with them, while doing absolutely nothing to make him more comfortable in his time there.”
Another Redditor, Anniemarsh69, gave their opinion that got over 1000 upvotes. They agreed with the overwhelming verdict, saying, “YTA – you knew he had a child when you met him so you must have known he would have to be part of your life.”
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Dean Drobot. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.