Discussing religion within families can be a sensitive and challenging topic, especially when there are differing beliefs and values. In this Reddit post, a parent shared her frustrations about her mother’s boundary-crossing behavior concerning her child’s religious upbringing.
She Was Raised in a Religious House but Wasn’t a Believer
The Original Poster (OP) was raised Catholic, but even as a child she had doubts, and as an adult, she never fully belonged to any faith. OP says she’s spiritual but doesn’t believe in any God.
Her Husband Is an Atheist
Her mother is a devout Catholic but her husband is an Atheist.
When OP and her husband started a family, they were aware that religion might be a source of conflict because OP’s mom has severe boundary issues in general, particularly with regard to religion.
A Religious Conflict
For instance, OP’s sisters were educated in a catholic school and their beliefs are different from OP’s and they resemble their mother’s more than hers.
OP took a lot of anthropology and philosophy classes in college and she used to talk to her sisters about what she learned.
However, their mother got angry and told her that she had no business discussing religion with them. Since then, OP never mentioned the subject to them. She respects her mother’s boundaries.
She Talked About Religion With Her Daughter
The story began when OP’s mother discreetly started discussing religion with OP’s 4-year-old and telling her that although her dad doesn’t believe in god and Jesus, he is mistaken and that they are real.
She Was Furious
OP realized what was happening when her daughter was working on a puzzle with her, and she yelled, “Mommy, you know god on grandma’s necklace? Although Dad doesn’t believe him to be real, he is! He lives in the sky”.
OP and her husband got very angry.
She Is Not Against Religion
OP says she has nothing against her daughter studying religion, but they do want her to be aware of all points of view, all religions, and all science.
She Is Mad at Her Mother
OP says her mother shouldn’t be doing this behind their backs and involving her spouse.
When OP questioned her mother about it, she turned the tables on OP once more, telling OP that she was making a big deal out of nothing and that her husband ought to have known when he married OP that religion would come up. Her mother added that she would never refuse to answer her granddaughter’s questions about religion.
As a result, OP lashed out and said to her mother if her daughter asks her any questions again, she should tell her to ask her mom and dad.
She Asked for Advice
OP felt bad about what she said to her mother and took to Reddit to ask for opinions.
One Reddit user wrote, “What worked in my household was teaching the kids that there are a lot of beliefs and a lot of religions in the world just as there are a lot of politics and lots of sports teams. And I reassured them that they don’t have to pick a favorite religion, a favorite politician, or a favorite sports team until they are in college. Until then they should learn as much as they want to about all of them so they can make a good decision.”
Another Redditor pointed out that it’s inappropriate because OP’s mother is implying that her belief is correct and OP’s husband is wrong. The comment went on to say that this is the problem with religion and OP’s mother definitely crossed a major boundary.
So what is your opinion? What would you do if you were in this situation?
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The post She Found Out Her Hardcore Religious Mother Was Telling Her Daughter That Her Father’s Atheist Ideas Were Wrong, She Was Furious! first appeared on Mama Say What?!
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