Co-parenting can be a complex journey, especially when it comes to making decisions regarding your children’s well-being and shared responsibilities. In this Reddit post, a parent seeks advice on whether they would be justified in denying their ex’s request to take their child on vacation. Here’s the full story.
They Are In Their 20s
The Original Poster (OP) and her ex are both in their early 20s.
They Hit It off Immediately
They first connected through a common friend a few years ago. And while they started out as friends, they soon found themselves in a romantic relationship.
They Welcomed Their First Child
They quickly decided to live together and they welcomed their first healthy and beautiful child, last fall.
Things Weren’t Easy
It turns out that OP’s ex-partner is not a great parent. They frequently fought over their responsibilities toward their child.
He would be gone for long periods and he missed major events and had little experience raising a child.
She Talked About It With Others
OP had discussed his actions with their common friends.
After hearing what OP’s ex had done, the friend claimed that he was a bad father because of his behavior.
Plus, her ex’s own aunt told OP that the effort he was making as a father wasn’t great.
They Decided to Split Custody
In the end they decided to split custody of their child. OP has primary custody of their child under a 70/30 custody arrangement.
They began discussing how they would divide up their child’s time among them more than three months ago.
OP made an effort to stay focused on what was best for their child, ensuring that they had a relationship with their father that was always healthy and protected.
They Discussed Taking Vacations
They also talked about trips during these exchanges and decided that each of them would be able to take two weeks off annually.
The specifics they hammered out after that initial meeting did not change and they were to be finalized later.
The Court Ordered Them to Provide Their Vacation Dates
Now, over a month has passed since their last hearing. During this time, it was decided that they would each give the other a deadline as to when they planned to take their vacations.
She Prepared Her Plan
The first draft of the agreement, which established the deadline, was delivered to them two weeks later. Although there wasn’t much time, OP didn’t think it was a problem because she had been preparing for it.
They clarified a few more points and got the last version of the contract a week before the due date.
OP’s ex was advised of OP’s plans and the dates she would be away.
Her Ex Didn’t Take a Vacation
However, her ex gave a tardy reply, saying that due to financial constraints, he would not be able to take his vacation. This was constantly confirmed.
But, He Changed His Mind
However, he later learned that he could take a week off.
He acknowledged that he missed the deadline and asked if OP would still let him take a week. So OP told him she would consider it.
She Didn’t Know Whether to Give Her Ex Permission
OP spoke with her family and friends and they were divided.
The majority advised her to let him take the trip because it will improve OP’s appearance at their next hearing.
The other half has advised OP not to allow it because it appears that he did not make an attempt to organize his vacation until the very last minute and it could set a pattern given that he could have received this knowledge before the deadline.
She Asked Readers
Now OP doesn’t know what to do, so she turned to Reddit. But, Redditors were also divided in their opinions.
One Reddit user said that OP is wrong and unless her ex is abusive or something they don’t see why OP can’t flex on this.
Another Redditor wrote, “Unless you already had your vacation planned there’s no good reason to interfere with your child going with their father. Co-Parenting isn’t about asserting dominance or authority which it sounds like you’re doing.”
So what do you think? What do you think OP should do?
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The post She Doesn’t Want Her Ex to Take Her Kid on a Vacation… It’s the Principle of It That Bothers Her and She Thinks He’s Being Flaky first appeared on Mama Say What?!
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Sklo Studio. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.