A Reddit user asked the community if they were in the wrong for calling out their stepmother for making belittling statements and acting like a bully.
A Mean Stepmother
The Original Poster (OP) believes that her stepmother, who is married to her father, exhibits narcissistic behavior.
She Belittles Her
During OP’s upbringing, the stepmother consistently found covert ways to belittle OP and draw comparisons between her and her biological cousin and nephews.
In the stepmother’s eyes, OP’s cousin was the favored child who could do no wrong, and OP was constantly instructed to emulate her cousin’s behavior and personality instead of being true to herself.
Consequently, OP experienced heightened self-consciousness and shame in the face of failure.
Feeling Ignored and Abused
For Thanksgiving, OP visited her family, and her cousin decided to join them since she was studying nursing at a nearby school.
Throughout the visit, OP’s family showered her cousin with praise and attention, while completely ignoring OP.
Her Degree Seems More Important
Despite OP’s achievements in pursuing a graduate degree in math, her cousin’s nursing studies seemed to be more celebrated.
Comparing Future Salaries
On the night before Thanksgiving, OP and her family were gathered in the kitchen when the stepmother began praising the cousin and their life choices.
She then turned to OP and made a disparaging comment, stating that she would never make as much money as her cousin in her lifetime.
She Commented Back
In response, OP informed the stepmother that many professors in her department make six-figure salaries, which was a fact that OP had personally verified.
However, the stepmother continued to deny OP’s assertion and gaslight her by insisting that she was wrong.
It was Unfair
OP expressed to the stepmother that it was unfair to compare her and her cousin solely based on their potential earnings rather than the fact that they both aspired to help people through their respective professions.
She Left the Situation
Despite OP’s objection, her family members remained silent and failed to address the stepmother’s bullying behavior.
Frustrated with the lack of support, OP retreated to an upstairs room to continue working on her schoolwork.
Trying to Make Up for the Comments
Later on, the stepmother approached OP and asked if she could be of any assistance. OP declined the offer and returned to her work.
However, the stepmother persisted in instigating an argument by accusing OP of mistreating her father and being disrespectful.
She Was Embarrassed
In response, OP expressed that the stepmother’s behavior had embarrassed her in front of the family and ruined yet another visit for her.
She Finally Confronted Her
OP confronted the stepmother, calling her a bully and drawing a comparison between her behavior and that of the girls who had tormented her during high school.
The stepmother appeared taken aback by OP’s statement and ran downstairs crying.
Was OP in the Wrong?
However, OP later reflected on the situation and questioned if she had acted poorly.
She acknowledged that the stepmother had been subjected to severe bullying in her own past, including having dead animals stuffed in her parents’ mailbox and being called vulgar names.
OP recognized that it was unfair for the stepmother to take out her pain on OP, who had no involvement in those past events.
Nevertheless, OP questioned whether it was appropriate to make the comparison.
Reddit Community Weighs In
Several Reddit users have commented on the situation, with the majority agreeing that the OP is not the jerk in this situation.
They believe that the stepmother instigated the situation and was acting like a bully and that the comparison made by OP was valid.
Some users pointed out that the stepmother’s behavior is not excusable just because she was bullied in the past and that it is important to stand up against abuse.
Suggestions from Commenters
Redditors questioned the validity of the stepmother’s claims of being bullied and suggested that she may be lying or exaggerating.
Some users also criticized the OP’s father for not standing up for them and allowing the stepmother’s behavior to continue.
Overall, the consensus among the commenters is that the OP did the right thing by standing up for themselves and should not feel guilty for doing so.
What do you think? Was OP’s behavior justified?
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The post She Reached Boiling Point and Called Out Her Stepmother for Her Bullying. She Was Tired of Being Compared to Her “Perfect” Cousin first appeared on Mama Say What?!
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