Our latest story comes straight from Reddit. A recent poster went viral after asking if she was a jerk for calling out her fiance’s stepdad’s toxic behavior.
Her Fiancé Was Abandoned
This woman has been with her fiance for four years; they’re both 24. Her fiance has had it tough – his biological dad abandoned him before he was born, and when his mom eventually remarried, it was with someone that was horrid to him.
His mom and stepdad had two kids together – his mom was lovely growing up, but his dad was a terror. After the birth of his own two kids, he made sure to let his stepson know that he was worthless in comparison.
He grew up with his stepdad criticizing him over everything he did, belittling him constantly, and saying hurtful things. He has anxiety because of this and is still fearful of his stepdad, so he never sticks up for himself.
The original poster (OP) thinks that his mother was partly to blame, as she enabled this behavior from her husband. But her fiancé loves his mother unconditionally – as a son does.
He Can’t Change His Feelings
It would be hard for him to change his feelings for his mother, and the OP wasn’t there while he was growing up, so she doesn’t know the whole picture.
Her fiance is a big fan of video games and has been since he was a little kid. However, his stepdad used to shame him constantly because of it.
Their relationship has never been good, and she thinks it’s all his stepdad’s fault. He’s a lawyer and thinks very highly of himself.
Over the years, she’s learned more about her fiance’s family from his grandmother – a lovely soul who tried to take custody of him and tried pressing charges for child neglect but sadly wasn’t taken seriously.
She explains that his stepdad never tried to be a parent for him and hated having him in the house. Everything was an issue when he was a teenager – from his hobbies to his friends. Anything he did was wrong and an excuse for his stepdad to shout at him.
He’s Excelling In Life
Now he’s in college, studying to be a programmer and potentially move into software development! He’s excelling at college, and she’s incredibly proud of him.
It all came to a head recently at a family lunch his mom had set up. They were lucky when they arrived as they didn’t have to put up with his stepdad for too long, as he was out. He arrived a little before lunch.
After lunch, they were all hanging out in the living room when her fiance’s mom asked him about college. He started talking about his good grades, classes, and other school-related things.
But his stepdad butted in, taking over the conversation by asking his daughter (her fiance’s half-sister) if she had been studying.
She said she had been, and he explained to them that his daughter was getting ready to go into law school next year to follow in her father’s footsteps.
This was when the argument began. He looked directly at her fiance and said, “law school is hard; being good at it is something to brag about. Everyone can play video games all day, but not everyone can graduate from a serious career.”
This comment was like a red rag to a bull for the OP. She looked over at her fiance and could tell he was upset, but due to the years of bullying would never say anything back.
She Couldn’t Keep Quiet
She snapped and shouted at her fiance’s stepdad, “if you think that studying programming involves playing video games all day, then you’re far more ignorant than I thought you were!”
She had planned to stop there, but she got caught up in the moment and couldn’t stop herself from telling her fiance’s stepdad that he was a terrible person for dragging down her fiance on purpose.
She told him he must have a miserable life if he’s so focused on causing pain to others. She had stunned the room. Nobody said a word, and her fiance asked her to leave, so they did.
Her fiance thanked her for standing up for him. He told her how much he loved her, and she ensured he knew she supported and loved him.
However, later in the evening, she got a message from his mother. She said that OP had been rude for disrespecting her fiance’s stepdad and told her she had ruined the day!
OP explains, “I honestly don’t care, and neither does he, but I want to know if I was too rude?”
Redditors loved that this woman stuck up for her fiance against his bully of a stepdad. They said, “You are a great partner. He should consider limiting contact with his mother for her role in all of this. Just remember on that end you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. He’s gonna have to have the realization mom’s a toxic enabler who seemingly cares more about her new family than her son.”
What do you think about this story? Should she have bit her tongue and let her fiance’s bullying stepdad insult him at a family meal, or was her behavior out of order?
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The post Her Fiance’s Step-Dad Is An Arrogant Lawyer Who Keeps Trying To Make Him Feel Like A Failure, And She Wants It To Stop first appeared on Mama Say What?!
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Ground Picture. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.