A concerned Reddit user shared a story about admitting he regrets having children during marriage counseling and asked if he was an a**hole for what he said.
The original poster (OP) started by stating he and his wife were in marriage counseling after they started having marital problems due to the birth of their children, a 6-year-old and 4-year-old twins.
According to the OP, he and his wife have faced many issues and had countless disagreements in their marriage, which have driven them apart.
OP explained he had been working through his resentments that he and his wife trying to have one more child resulted in the birth of twins. According to him, one of the twins has ADHD and ODD, making the kid a “nightmare child.”
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Although OP loves his kids and would die for them if need be, if he had a chance to go back to when he was 24 and had just finished grad school, he wouldn’t choose fatherhood.
According to OP, fatherhood is not the fulfilling experience everyone claims, and although he loves his kids, the sacrifice is not worthwhile for him.
OP explained that before fatherhood, he loved life and had a happier life. However, he has since gone from someone who loved life to someone who just makes it through the day, working a job he hates to provide for his wife and kids while silently wishing he had a different life.
A Huge Misunderstanding
Meanwhile, OP explained that his wife had taken his feelings the wrong way and even went as far as to tell their oldest child that he wished the kid was never born.
However, OP noted he only said that in marriage counseling and wouldn’t say that in front of his kids. Although he wished he never had kids, he still loved them and wouldn’t do anything to hurt or upset them.
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OP noted that his feelings have caused a big fight in his marriage and that his wife might use his words against him during court proceedings to get sole custody of their children.
Although OP still loves and wants to be a father to his children, he declared his wife does not understand how he can love his kids but feel parenthood wasn’t the best choice.
OP then asked for people’s thoughts about his actions and if his feelings made him an a**hole.
Reddit Responds to OP’s Post
Following OP’s post, several Reddit users took to the comment section to give their opinions.
However, many of them felt his feelings were valid, including a Redditor who noted, “I love my two daughters so much, but if I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t be a mom. It is still a big taboo to admit that having children isn’t the most amazing thing in the world, but for a lot of us, the lows far outweigh the highs.”
They continued, “I’d never ever tell my kids I feel this way, but I think this is something you should be able to be honest about with you partner in marriage counseling, and the fact she told your child this is disgusting. NTA (Not the a**hole).”
Another Reddit user explained, “Throwing for this: I’m in the same boat. Having my son ruined my life. My husband left me when she was a baby because he hated it and I was left a single mom.”
They added, “He dodges child support and my career is ruined because I have little support and had go onto the mommy track, I don’t get to do a thing for myself outside the house and my son has autism and is just….a handful, and a really difficult kid.”
“I love him, but honestly, I’d command+Z my son if I could. NTA (not the a**hole) for feeling it or saying it, because like you say, you said it in marriage counseling, not to you kids. You would have been TA if you said it to the kids or where they could have heard you, but you didn’t.”
What do you think about the story? Was OP wrong to regret ever having kids? Or did he make a mistake admitting it during counseling?
Our article has been inspired by Reddit and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Mama Say What?!
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Dikushin Dmitry. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story