Recently, on Reddit’s subthread, a big discussion was triggered by a Redditor who sought advice from the community on whether she was wrong for refusing to pay for a free bar at her daughter’s wedding.
The Redditor said that both she and her husband had a great relationship with the daughter, but the drinks’ cost had caused a major argument.
She Would Help With Wedding Costs
The Original Poster (OP) said that she had agreed to cover most of the wedding expenses, including catering, flowers, and cake.
They said they wouldn’t pay for a wedding dress, veil, and headpiece; these were a gift bought for the daughter by the grandparents.
When it came to the drinks, the daughter and her fiancé wanted a free bar paid for by OP and her husband.
They Wouldn’t Pay for the Open Bar
The daughter was upset with the mom for not agreeing to cover the cost of every drink for their guests, but she was insistent they wouldn’t do it.
The thread generated lively debate among Redditors.
OP described the fiancé as usually someone who is laid back, but in this instance, he had called her out, and accused OP of “trying to control them and dictate what they do for their wedding, and I don’t have the right to.”
To get around the issue, OP proposed to set a budget of $10 per drink and asked that the guests or the couple would have to cover the remaining cost.
She said that expensive drinks were between $7-$8, so $10 seemed about right. She thought, “I didn’t think it was unreasonable for me to set the boundaries for my budget, so I wasn’t upset about it.”
They Accused Her of Being Controlling
OP called her daughter to tell her what she was doing, but it only seemed to make things worse. Her daughter was still angry; a limit per drink wasn’t enough, and she and her fiancé again called OP controlling.
OP recognized that her decision to set a $10 limit per drink may have made her seem controlling, however, she added that this didn’t mean she was setting a limit on her overall contribution.
OP finished the story by asking Reddit where she was wrong. She said, “I don’t think I am, but I’ll take my verdict fair and square.”
Moony-21 gave the most upvoted response saying that OP was not in the wrong. They said, “Your daughter sounds entitled and spoiled.”
They went on to say, “Does she even realize how lucky she is to have someone pay for her wedding? My fiancé and I have no financial support so forgive me that it makes me sick to see someone so unappreciative of everything you are doing.”
Another Redditor, Aussie_nub added, “There’s a super easy way to fix that. ‘Sorry kiddo, we’ve decided that we’re no longer paying for the bar.’ If they continue to fight it ‘Ok, no problem. You can have whatever you like now that you’re paying for it all.'”
RedRixen83 echoed what others had contributed by saying, “Holy cow is your kid entitled? A limit is good just in general – no one needs to be getting tanked at a wedding. But you’re literally paying for everything, and haven’t butted in any other plans.”
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Cindy Goff. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.