A Reddit thread saw a recently widowed woman asking if she was in the wrong for refusing to let her children visit her parents.
In 2022, our 27-year-old storyteller tragically lost her husband while pregnant with their third child.
They had been childhood sweethearts; since she was 14 and he was 15. They had been married for seven years – he was her rock, and she encouraged him never to give up and always go after his dreams.
A Big Family
They have three kids together, a six-year-old, a three-year-old, and a four-month-old.
He was a marine, and they moved around a lot for years from base to base.
After he passed, she got a house about 30 minutes from her parents, and her in-laws moved 10 minutes away from her to be close to their grandkids.
She Has To Rely On Her Parents
Her parents and in-laws have been fantastic – they help out a lot and look after the kids when she needs a break, and she’s incredibly grateful for them.
They’re Putting Too Much Pressure On Her!
However, since she gave birth to her youngest child, her parents have been putting a lot of pressure on her to date.
She’s Still Grieving
She’s not ready to date – her husband’s death still weighs heavily on her, and she only gave birth a few months ago.
But her parents refuse to listen – they were never her husband’s biggest fan.
This is Not OK
They’ve set her up on surprise blind dates without talking to her and invited people over to the house while she was there for surprise dates.
She Handles It Well
Despite this being incredibly inappropriate, she’s dealt with it, apologizing profusely to any guys that were involved. However, this conflict reached a crucial point yesterday.
Her Son Started Asking Questions
The original poster (OP) headed over to her parent’s house yesterday to pick up her kids as they’d been there for the day.
Well, when she picked up her children, her oldest asked her, “why don’t you want to give us another dad?”
Grandma Went Too Far
After some questioning, she found out that grandma had told him that his mom didn’t care about them having a dad. She was horrified.
Loss Is Hard to Explain to Children
She explained to her son as best as she could that she wasn’t ready and wanted him and his siblings to be ready as well. It was going to be a difficult conversation.
She Was Furious
After she got home, she put her kids to bed and phoned her parents.
She was furious but kept calm and told them they were out of line for bringing her kids into it.
She told her parents they wouldn’t be visiting for a while – understandable in the circumstances.
They’re Out Of Line
Her parents say that her kids need a father figure in their life, but she knows they have many male role models.
She’s sad but knows they need to figure out life without her husband first before even thinking about bringing another man into their lives.
Her parents believe that if there is no father in the picture, her boys will be criminals, and the girls will be “open to everyone,” as she puts it.
They Can’t Be Trusted
She’s given her parents a timeout – put them on an information ban and won’t let them know everything about her and her kids’ life.
Slowly over time, she can bring her kids to visit her parents again, but for now, she can’t leave them there. They are clearly out of line with what they’re telling her six-year-old.
She’s Worried Her Son Will Be Confused
Her six-year-old has handled his father’s death well so far, but she’s worried that this information will confuse him.
She sees so much of his dad in him – he potty trained himself by two because he wanted to be like his dad, and he reads at a third-grade level. She’s a very proud mother.
He’s A Great Kid
He likes to sleep in his dad’s old shirts and asks a lot of questions. The last thing she wants is him questioning her about getting a new dad – especially while she’s still grieving.
Her Family Are Confusing Her
However, she’s been getting messages nonstop ever since she called her parents. Her aunts, uncles, and parents have been blowing her phone up, saying that they had good intentions and they only want what’s best for her.
This situation is confusing for her, and she wonders if she has taken it too far.
She says she’s too close to this to judge it impartially. She just wants to know, whether she’s wrong.
Reddit Users Offer Their Opinions
Reddit users deemed the mother not in the wrong, and they thought it was reprehensible that her parents were trying to secretly set her up with men so soon after her husband had passed, and without a care for her regard.
The top-rated comment said that she was “absolutely NTA (Not The A***ole). I wouldn’t let your kids be alone with them until you can trust them. And don’t bring them over for supervised visits until you’re ready.”
What do you think of this story? Who is in the wrong?
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