Love knows no boundaries, but cultural differences can sometimes pose challenges in relationships. In a recent Reddit post, a person found himself torn between their desire to meet their boyfriend’s parents and the discomfort with the proposed plan of introducing his sister as their partner instead.
They Have a Healthy Relationship
The Original Poster (OP) and his boyfriend, Ahmad, are both 25 years old and have been dating for almost 24 months now.
Their Families Won’t Understand Their Love
As neither of them has a family that would understand their love, they initially kept it a secret.
Except for OP’s younger sister, no one else in his family was aware that he was gay.
They Planned to Move In Together
However, the situation changed when they decided to move in together a few months ago.
Ahmad is from Turkey, and his parents still reside there, while they live in Germany, just 100 km away from OP’s parents.
They Decided to Come Out to Their Parents
OP mentioned that once they moved in, there was no way to keep their love a secret from their parents.
Plus, OP did not want his parents to learn about it from another person. And he no longer wanted to hide it.
So, as a couple, Ahmed and OP decided to pay a visit to both of their parents.
They Visited OP’s Parents First
They visited OP’s parents first because they were considerably closer.
It wasn’t great, as OP had expected, and OP had to use phrases like “Ahmed is the person in my life who most closely resembles a partner” to convey his point.
Finally, OP’s parents accepted his relationship and expressed their support.
His Partner Didn’t Want to Visit His Parents in Turkey
However, Ahmad was taking his time with the whole “visiting his parents” thing.
OP observed that he made a point of leaving him out of the pictures he sent home.
And the few images that he did send nearly always featured OP’s sister along with OP.
He Said He Wanted to Meet His Partner’s Parents
OP explained that it was crucial for him to go see Ahmed’s family.
And OP admitted to Ahmed that being left out of his pictures, the one he’s sending home, did hurt.
While OP was able to disclose his relationship to his parents, Ahmad’s situation was more complicated.
His Partner Explained His Situation
Hailing from Turkey, where cultural expectations and traditional values may pose challenges for same-sex relationships, Ahmad expressed reservations about introducing his boyfriend to his parents.
Ahmed said that OP was unfamiliar with Turkish culture and that OP doesn’t even speak Turkish.
But he said he would try to make arrangements if it were really important to OP.
Finally, His Partner Decided to Visit His Parents Together
Recently, Ahmed agreed to plan a visit to his parent’s house in Turkey.
There Was a Problem
But there was a catch. Ahmed wanted OP’s sister to pose as his partner to avoid a potential conflict with his parents.
While Ahmad saw this as a pragmatic solution, OP struggled with the idea of pretending to be someone else and having his sister take his place.
He Was Conflicted
After hearing this offer, OP felt conflicted.
But he thought that in some way, it makes sense because his sister will enjoy the trip, he will get to meet his future in-laws, and Ahmed won’t have to deal with the conflict with his family.
But in the end, OP simply couldn’t make it work. Having to act as a different person and having his sister sit next to Ahmad instead of him, made OP feel weird.
He Refused
As a result, OP rejected visiting Ahmed’s parents saying that Ahmad should exhibit the same courage OP had shown when coming out to his own parents.
He Turned to Reddit
OP took to Reddit to ask if he was wrong for refusing the visit. Redditors were split in their views with some supporting OP and some saying no one was in the wrong here.
One Reddit user supported OP and wrote, “You are not wrong for rejecting that plan. I think that not wanting to participate in a plan that negates your role in his life and misleads everyone is fair. However, you do need to back off and give him time to get to a place where he is ready to tell his parents on his own. Just because you are ready doesn’t mean he is, and pushing this issue will only cause resentment.”
Readers feel no single person is wrong here and navigating bigotry and traditional cultural ideas can be difficult. Find the path that’s right for you.
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The post His Boyfriend Wants to Introduce His Boyfriend’s Sister as His Girlfriend So His Parents Don’t Find Out He Is Gay. His Boyfriend Will Be Introduced as a “Friend” first appeared on Mama Say What?!
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Cookie Studio. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Source: Reddit