This tale of family troubles comes from a Reddit board. A woman wanted to find out if she was in the wrong for telling her parents that they had made their bed so they could lay in it when they asked her for help.
Her Parents Disowned Her When She Came Out
When she was 18, she came out to her parents. They strongly disapproved. They gave her five minutes to grab her things before shutting her outside and disowning her.
Her mum literally set a kitchen timer to five minutes and told her to hurry up. She couldn’t stand to use any countdown or timer for long after that.
She remembers shouting through the door that there was no way she could live independently, that she was their kid, and that they should love and support her. And she also remembers her father replied, “you made your bed by choosing this lifestyle. Grow up and learn to lie in it.”
Now she’s 29 and has had a great life despite the odds. She was able to go to college on a few scholarships and not depend on loans too much, and she met her wife during her freshman year and has been with her ever since.
They have a wonderful two-year-old daughter, “the most precious little person in the world.” Together they’ve bought a house, and both have well-paying jobs.
She considers herself incredibly lucky and can’t imagine her life without her wife or daughter.
Her Family Reached Out
She hasn’t kept in touch with her biological family since they abandoned her, but recently they contacted her. She doesn’t know how they got her contact information, but somehow they did. Her mom sent the original poster (OP) a message detailing the financial issues they were going through.
They’d had to sell the house she grew up in and move to a small apartment. At the end of the message, her mom had asked if she’d be willing to help them out for a little while by letting them stay with her.
She didn’t respond to the message and chose to ignore it. She couldn’t believe that her parents would have the audacity to ask for help after abandoning her when she came out.
She received a call a day later, and as soon she answered it, she realized her dad was on the other line. He told her the same thing that her mom did and that they needed help, and she replied, “that really sucks, I hope you figure it out.”
They Needed Her Help
Her dad then flat-out asked if she would really not provide them with any assistance. She asked him why he wanted her help, and he told her that she should want to support her parents the way they supported her growing up.
The irony of this comment was not lost on OP, and she replied, “maybe if your “support” of me hadn’t ended the moment I told you I was a lesbian, I’d be willing to help. Unfortunately, you made your bed yourself, so you can lie in it too.”
She hung up on him, and later on, he left a voicemail calling her selfish and cruel for using their financial struggles to prove a point. But how could he expect so much after they’d treated her so callously? They only contacted her because they were in trouble at the end of the day, not because they wanted to reconnect with their daughter, just to use her for help.
She thinks the dynamic would be awful if they stayed; two bigots in a lesbian household. She wants to protect her daughter from their hatred.
Protecting Her Daughter
Her family had taught her that being gay meant being in misery because “sinful” behavior would lead to a life of suffering. But now she gets to fall asleep next to her wife every night, makes her daughter smile, and lives in a home full of laughter and built on love.
She says that she knows there is no way for this to be a sin, not when her life brings her so much more joy than she ever thought she could feel.
OP emailed her mom with links to soup kitchens, food pantries, and housing assistance and then blocked her mom and dad. She also might change her number if they try calling her again.
She told her wife that she felt guilty about using the same words to her dad he had used on her all those years ago. But her wife said she was 100% allowed to get a kick out of the poetic justice!
She wants to know if she was too cruel. That’s why she’s asking if is she in the wrong.
Reddit users overwhelmingly supported this woman’s decision. They thought it was rich that her parents were trying to seek help after leaving her destitute when she came out to them.
One user said, “If they let bigotry abandon their daughter then they deserve to no longer have a daughter. They don’t get to pick you back up as their child when they need help, they made it clear that you were on your own, so that works both ways.”
What do you think about this story? Should she have held out an olive branch to her parents, or were they in the wrong for expecting her to look after them after abandoning her?
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The post She’s Not Spoken to Her Homophobic Parents Since They Disowned Her, But Now They’ve Come Knocking For Help, And They Want Her To Pretend The Past Never Happened first appeared on Mama Say What?!
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