A Reddit user shares her story of her boyfriend being picky about how things are done around the house and her becoming tired of it.
They Live Together
The original poster (OP) explained that she and her boyfriend have been living together for two years. Before they moved in together, OP noticed that he paid careful attention to his belongings.
He would tell OP not to push the window of his car when she was closing the door but to use the handle. He also told her not to touch his computer monitor with her fingers.
OP said she did what he said because they were his things, and she wanted to be respectful. After they moved in together, it got worse.
He Had a Lot of Rules
OP wasn’t allowed to crush garlic with the side of a blade anymore because he said it might damage the blade later on. She can’t put any hot objects on the counter or sink because they might leave permanent marks.
She can’t put her small flower pots on the windowsill because they might scratch it. OP said that since her boyfriend works a lot, she is the one who does the cooking and cleaning.
She tries to follow what he says because it’s his house, but she says that doing the work around the house and listening to his complaints is too much for her.
She told him that she didn’t think any of these things would actually happen, and if they did, it wouldn’t be a big deal. He lectured her about how these things would eventually damage his house and devalue it.
OP added that she hasn’t broken any dishes since moving in and that the house was mostly empty when she arrived.
She Feels Unwelcome
She talked to him and told him that she felt unwelcome in his house. His response was, “Why can’t I tell you to do things the right way!” He told her she was overreacting and forced her to apologize.
The Reddit community was quick to take her side.
One user pointed out that he may have some sort of obsessive disorder. “His list of do’s and don’ts is just excessive, and it reveals a truly obsessive or controlling side. In either case, there is no way I’d be able to live like this, and honestly, I’d start the process of moving out unless he’s willing to come to some sort of a reasonable compromise.”
Another user added on, saying, “NTA ‘I can’t crush garlic with the blade of the knife because it may loosen the blade one day.’ What the heck is that? Buy a new knife. It is certainly his prerogative to keep his stuff as he likes it. However, you should be aware that this kind of obsessive controlling is likely to continue or get worse as things go on.”
Another user saw both perspectives of the situation. “ESH. Listen, some of his concerns are legitimate, putting hot pots and pans right on the counter top can damage it and aside from it being aesthetically not pleasing, it can also impact resale down the line. But to your point some of his complaints are a little extreme. It sounds like he doesn’t actually want to share the home with you and find a middle ground. But you also need to have some commonsense too.”
Is OP right to be annoyed at all of her boyfriend’s requests? Are her boyfriend’s requests legitimate? How would you have reacted in this situation?
The post Her Boyfriend Is Worried That She’s Devaluing His House, She Thinks He Shouldn’t Worry first appeared on Mama Say What?!
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