A trans man has turned to Reddit after his sister told him NOT to go shirtless while swimming in the pool at a family BBQ. It quickly became a family drama, and the BBQ was ruined.
A Seemingly Simple Family Hangout
The Original Poster (OP), a trans man, was invited to a family hangout by his sister and her husband.
He was under the impression that it would just be their side of the family.
The BBQ Includes Extended Family
It wasn’t just immediate family at the event. The husband’s side of the family was also invited. Creating an unexpected problem.
Time to Relax in the Pool
When it was time to relax and have some fun in the pool, OP changed into his swimming trunks.
He was about to step outside shirtless like the other men when his sister stopped him.
An Unexpected Request
She told him to put his shirt back on and swim with it on. OP was taken aback as this had never happened before.
Why should he swim with a shirt on when other men at the BBQ were shirtless?
Hide His Surgical Scars
OP’s sister said she wanted him to keep his shirt on because of his scars.
OP explained that the scars were from his top (chest) surgery four years ago.
Old Scars Were Barely Visible
In fact, the scars were barely visible at the time. And the faded parts were well hidden by his pectorals.
It would take a proper inspection to see them.
Secret Shame Comes to the Surface
Upon further confrontation about the scars, his sister admitted that she didn’t want her in-laws to know he is trans.
Fears Others Won’t Be Accepting
She claimed to be uncomfortable and was worried about how her husband’s family would perceive her if they found out about his being transgender.
She also said it wasn’t a big deal, making light of his feelings about the issue.
Newly Found Prejudices Are Painful
OP, who had been transitioning for eight years, was hurt by his sister’s request and felt angry.
Besides, he didn’t bring an extra shirt as he wasn’t expecting to swim with a shirt on. OP put his shirt back on and left the party.
A Family’s Strong Support
Everyone was surprised he wanted to leave so early, his mum especially. OP’s dad called him aside to know what was wrong.
He told his dad about his sister’s unexpected request and left. About an hour after, his sister, now upset, called him. She had gotten into a rift with their dad over the issue.
His Family Follow Suit
It turns out the whole family didn’t take it well either. They all decided to leave early, ruining the BBQ hangout.
OP’s sister was angry and thought everything could have been avoided if he had done what she asked. She claims he ruined the BBQ with his drama.
What Redditors Had to Say
Several Redditors found his sister’s request insensitive. Entertn9710 wrote, “Why would he have to explain his scars? Just go to the pool, don’t ask questions about other people’s bodies because it’s none of your business, and enjoy the bbq. That’s much easier for everyone.”
Calling Out Transphobic Behavior
Verity_Fox also felt OP’s sister’s request was transphobic and said, “You were right to call out that transphobic behavior.
‘Didn’t want her in-laws to look at her differently’ makes it sound like she was saying she was ashamed to have a trans brother.”
Another Redditor said, “You resected her wishes, you kept your shirt on and left. Your parents were offended by her behavior, and they left. The only person, your sister, has to blame is herself. Kudos to you and your parents.”
Was His Anger Justified?
OP was hurt by his sister’s request. He didn’t mean to ruin their day.
Should he have just listened to his sister and worn a shirt? Was he right for getting angry and leaving early? What would you have done in this scenario?
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The post His Sister Is Embarrassed He’s Transgender, so He Left a Family Bbq Because She Stopped Him Swimming Shirtless, Which Would Have Shown His Scars first appeared on Mama Say What?!
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / SB Arts Media. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Source: Reddit.