A man took to Reddit to ask if he’d wronged his wife by not fully disclosing his financial status to her.
A Loving Couple
This man, 36, has been married to his wife, 33, for over two years, and they’ve been together for four years.
They have a one-year-old child, and his wife has been on maternity leave since birth.
He Has a Few Businesses
The original poster (OP) explains that his wife knew he ran his own businesses and owned some properties, but they never discussed figures in detail.
He was always open with her that he did have some money squirreled away and had spent a great deal for her and the house.
He’s Never Been Shy to Spend Money
During COVID, his wife wanted a new bathroom and the garden renovated, which he paid for without a thought – it was never a problem.
He also paid off $20k in debt that she had accrued and spent another $10k on their wedding, so she was aware of his frugal lifestyle.
His Wife Was on a Night Out With Friends
Recently, his wife went out with some of the mothers from a mothers and baby group she was part of, including one who worked for OP’s accounting firm.
He Said She’d Struggle
With a few drinks in them, the topic of the wife becoming a stay-at-home mom came up.
OP’s wife didn’t want to go back to work, and her husband had told her that “while it may be a struggle, I think we can make it work.”
They Dropped a Bomb
But when she told her friends, she was shocked. The accountant was confused that he would say it would be a struggle and said, “I’ve seen his account. He’s minted!”
This shocked his wife – if he was this rich, why would he say it was a struggle?!
He Had How Much?!?!
The wife relayed this conversation to OP, and he had to explain that, while he did not know his exact net worth, he was, in fact, a millionaire on paper! She was astonished!
She was upset that OP had understated their financial situation and felt they had skimped on things they didn’t have to. This upset OP.
Her Friends Said to Show Him the Door!
She even showed OP a WhatsApp group where 75% of her friends thought he was a jerk, and one of them even suggested she should divorce him! He thought this was crazy!
He Pays Her Way
OP and his wife have a shared current account and personal accounts.
He puts £3,000 in the shared account each month to cover all essential expenses, and his wife keeps all of her income.
Their Money Will Take Cake of Their Child Forever
Their child has their ISA maxed out, and all things going smoothly will never need to work.
However, his wife thought they were struggling before the accountant mentioned OP’s true net worth.
He Had His Reasons for Not Telling Her
OP had his reasons for not disclosing his financial status to his wife.
Firstly, he was concerned about his wife’s extravagant spending habits.
Secondly, he’d invested most of the money in properties and businesses, and very little of it was actually liquid.
He Thought of It Differently
He never considered it as his money but rather that it belonged to his businesses, and he says he never kept strict track of it. He explains how he sees it: “The properties I have are worth in the region of £8m, and I have around 30% equity.
You might think, “Wow, that’s over £2m sitting there,” whereas I’m thinking, “That’s 6m I owe at 2%, and it’s going to go up to around 7% when these mortgages get renewed.”
He Was Surprised by Her Reaction
He was surprised by the reactions of his wife’s friends and her attitude toward him.
He feels like he was being honest with his wife and never intended to deceive her.
In hindsight, he understands why she feels the way she does but still thinks that she overreacted.
It’s Caused Tension
The situation has raised some questions about their marriage, but OP is unsure where to go.
He loves his wife and does not want to lose her, but he also feels like she is being unreasonable.
OP is wondering if he should have been more forthcoming about his financial situation or if he was right to keep it to himself.
He Needed to Know if He Was in the Wrong
He can’t tell if he had acted poorly, which is why he posted to Reddit asking for their opinion.
While he understands why she feels the way she does, he thinks she overreacted and is being unreasonable.
The situation has caused tension in their marriage, and OP is unsure where to go from here.
Marriage Is a Partnership
Reddit users had different opinions of this guy. Some people thought OP had been intentionally dishonest with his wife and had forgotten a key point of marriage – that it’s a partnership.
They felt he treated his wife like a child, not a partner.
The Accountant Breached Confidentiality!
Others thought that the accountant had wronged OP and was calling for her to get fired! They didn’t think there was an issue in him separating business accounts from personal wealth but thought he was a jerk for telling his wife it “might be a struggle.”
One user said., “Everyone sucks here. The accountant shouldn’t have been discussing any of this in a social setting and without your permission. But I don’t understand how you can be married and not be clear on each other’s finances. If I was in your wife’s shoes, I would now be wondering what else I don’t know.
What do you think about this story? Should he have disclosed his finances to his wife, or was it something she didn’t need to know?
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