In the realm of friendships, clashes of ideology can sometimes lead to uncomfortable situations and strained relationships. This Reddit post recounts a story where a self-proclaimed feminist friend, expressed disapproval of another friend’s decision to step away from her successful career to become a stay-at-home mom.
The Best Friend Group
The Original Poster (OP) is a 30-year-old who belongs to a best friend group.
OP specifically pointed out that his self-proclaimed feminist friend isn’t his best friend but rather, she is just a member of the friend group and frequently joins them on their outings.
An Unexpected Surprise
The story starts when OP’s best friend, Queen, aged 28 unexpectedly became pregnant last year after years of struggling with infertility problems.
She Wanted to Leave Her Job
Excitement filled the friend group as Queen revealed her intention to leave her job and become a stay-at-home mom.
This decision was deeply personal to Queen, who had always wanted to be an involved mother due to her own childhood experiences.
Her husband, Jason, fully supported her choice, despite the financial adjustments it would entail.
She Had a Great Job
Queen had a fantastic profession, particularly for someone of her age.
She had quickly ascended the corporate ladder and was making a lot of money.
The Feminist Friend Was Against It
However, the “feminist” friend, let’s call her Beth, aged 26 believed that Queen’s decision to leave her position and become a stay-at-home mother was an insult to women and feminism.
She Wouldn’t Let It Go
Because Beth would not let go of it and because she was unaware of Queen’s past, there was an odd amount of tension.
His Friend Had a Traumatic Past
For context, Queen’s mother went away when she was a child, and she has genuinely always desired to be a mother. It was particularly important to her to be there for all of her child’s milestones.
It Was Important to Her
Being a good mother was far more significant to Queen than money.
Her husband, Jason, has always been aware of this and has always been entirely supportive of her choosing whatever will make her happy in the long term.
Even with some adjustments, he was still able to support the three of them with his income.
He Planned a Camping Trip
OP was planning an upcoming friend vacation and leased a 6-bedroom cabin for a long weekend.
Queen was expecting her first child at the time, but she and Jason told OP they would be coming.
Queen was still working, but Beth had not stopped harping on about her decision.
He Didn’t Invite His Feminist Friend
OP says his feminist friend believed she could persuade Queen to change her mind.
He didn’t want the weekend that he had paid for to be spoiled by dreary or unpleasant talk. So he decided no to invite his feminist friend.
An Argument Ensued
Beth was not happy, but OP reminded her that she had told Queen that if “she was a real feminist, she wouldn’t want a man paying for all her things.”
As a result, OP remarked, “I figured you wouldn’t be comfortable with a man paying for all your things…”
He Never Liked Her
OP says he never really liked Beth in the first place. To OP, real feminism is about people being able to be who they want to be without it being an issue of their gender, and not putting new gender roles on people.
Since then, Beth has distanced herself from the group of friends and calls OP a sexist pig.
That’s Not What Feminism Is
So OP took to Reddit to ask if he was wrong for un-inviting her. Redditors sided with OP and said that he was not wrong for what he did and that feminism is about having choices and control over one’s own life and Beth isn’t a feminist, just a jerk.
So what do you think? What would you have done if you were in this situation?
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The post He Didn’t Invite His Feminist Friend to a Camping Trip Because He Believes She Holds Skewed Views Which Are Toxic to Other Women first appeared on Mama Say What?!
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / CebotariN. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Source: Reddit