A helpful sister took to Reddit for opinions when her brother cut her out of helping plan his wedding. He was still good with her paying for the whole thing, though! Here is the full story.
They’re All Alone
OP is a 31-year-old woman with a 29-year-old brother. Their parents died in the last few years, leaving the siblings as each other’s only living relatives.
They Were Taught to Share
While growing up, OP’s parents taught their children to watch over each other and share what they had.
She Watches Over Him
Those were lessons that OP took to heart, and she has been helping out her brother in all sorts of ways since their folks died.
She Pays for a Lot
The most obvious of those are all the things OP has paid for. None of it has been a big deal, though, since she makes good money.
She Can Afford It
OP says she and her brother have good jobs, but she makes about four times as much as he does.
She Paved His Way
Since she has the money advantage, OP paid for her brother’s master’s program. Having that degree in hand will help him earn more down the road.
They Want a Family
OP has also signed up to help pay for her brother’s girlfriend to get IVF treatments in the future.
She’s Helping Them Grow
The couple is getting married soon but have already been trying to have kids. It hasn’t worked out, so OP will pay for most of their expensive fertility treatments.
She’ll Never Get Better
Part of why OP is paying is that she just wants to help. The other part is that her future sister-in-law has a medical condition that will prevent her from ever working full-time.
She Has a Dream
And now, with the couple’s wedding coming up, OP has agreed to pay for the whole shindig. Her future sister-in-law has a dream ceremony in mind, and she will get it!
She Wants Him to Be Happy
OP is happy to help with all these finances and wants her brother to be happy.
She Feels Left Out
Recently, though, the couple has gotten serious about planning for the wedding. And as those plans have come together, OP started to feel left out.
They’re Just Guests
For one thing, the bride’s family will form the wedding party as groomsmen and bridesmaids. But OP and her husband were only invited as guests.
Her Opinion Doesn’t Matter
And OP’s brother has never asked for her opinion about the wedding venue, decorations, food choices, or anything else.
He Has It Covered
Instead, OP’s brother takes his future in-laws with him and his girlfriend to make all the plans.
She Tried to Ignore It
OP tried to push her feelings aside and let her brother plan the wedding how he wanted to. However, she finally reached her breaking point and asked to speak with the couple about it.
She Felt Weird About It
When she sat down with her brother and his fiance, OP said she felt weird paying for the wedding and not being involved in any decisions.
They Planned It Long Ago
But OP’s future sister-in-law said that she and her siblings had been dreaming about and planning her wedding since they were kids. They pretty much already knew what they wanted.
They Should Pay
So then OP mentioned that the bride’s parents usually pay for the wedding especially if they’re calling all the shots.
She Was Shaming Them
That riled up the other woman, who accused OP of trying to shame her family for being poor and unable to afford the wedding.
It Was His Wedding, Too
OP said that wasn’t the case, but she thought she and her brother should have some say. It was his wedding, too, after all.
She Felt Worse Than Ever
It all fell on deaf ears, and OP left the conversation feeling worse than before.
She Wanted More Money
And then, to top it all off, the brother’s future mother-in-law called OP up. She wanted OP to help pay for the honeymoon, too.
He Lied to Everyone
As it turned out, OP’s brother had not told his future in-laws that his sister was paying for the wedding. They had no idea.
She Cut Him Loose
That was the last straw for OP. She told her brother she’d pay for the wedding and the IVF treatments as planned, but then he was on his own forever.
She Had No Choice
OP feels like it was the nuclear option and the only one she had left. Redditors overwhelmingly agree with OP and support her decision to stop paying for her brother’s expenses.
But many of them think she should take it a step further and pull out of paying for the wedding and fertility treatments, too.
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / MAYA LAB. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.