A busy mother took to Reddit for opinions after she refused to change her last name just to satisfy her ex-husband. She did make him an offer, though. Here is her full story.
They Built a Life
OP was married to her husband for 26 years and has 4 children with him.
It Was All Over
But 2 years ago, OP and her husband got divorced.
It was an amicable split because they both knew there was no way they could work it out.
He Was Gay
That’s because OP’s husband is gay and decided he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life in a marriage that didn’t fulfill him.
She Had His Name
Like many women in previous generations, and even today, OP took her husband’s last name when they got married.
It Was Everywhere
So that’s the name that appeared on OP’s legal documents, bills, and other day-to-day paperwork all those years they were married.
She Doesn’t Want the Hassle
And since the divorce, OP has been busy with work and life, and she knows changing back to her maiden name would be a hassle. So she hasn’t done it.
She’ll Do It Someday
OP does say her long-term plan is to change her last name, but she’s not ready for all the headaches involved.
He Wanted Her to Come Along
Recently, though, one of her sons invited OP to go on a trip with him and his family.
To make the required reservations, he needed her ID.
It Was a Family Celebration
Not long after that, OP went to her grandson’s birthday party.
It was no surprise to see her ex there, along with the man he plans to marry.
He Outed Her
At some point during the party, OP’s son brought up her ID.
He joked about how she hadn’t changed her name yet.
She Was Being Lazy
OP just laughed it off and said she was too lazy to tackle all the paperwork involved.
She Had His Attention
That caught her ex’s attention, and he asked OP if she really hadn’t changed her name yet.
She confirmed that was the case.
He Wanted It Back
When he heard that, OP’s ex-husband changed his tone.
He said that he was engaged to someone else now, so it was high time OP gave up his last name.
She Was Being Weird
The ex also said it was weird for OP to still be holding onto the name, and the past, after so much time.
He Could Do It for Her
That irked OP, and she told her ex that he was welcome to go stand in the long lines for her to get her name changed.
She Wouldn’t Budge
Otherwise, OP said, she would not be dropping her ex’s last name any time soon.
She repeated that it was just too much of a hassle.
She Ended It
That pretty much killed the conversation, and OP went on visiting with other people at the party.
He Couldn’t Let It Drop
But later on, OP’s ex-husband called her up and said the whole situation made him and his fiance uncomfortable.
He thought she was being a jerk about the whole thing.
She Wanted His Take
OP was really surprised that anyone cared what name she used, so she asked her son for his opinion.
He Can See Both Sides
He said that he could see why OP didn’t want to take on the task of changing her name.
But he also understands why his dad is uncomfortable with his ex still using his last name.
She Just Doesn’t Have Time
OP plans to keep kicking the name can down the road, but she wonders if she’s being unreasonable.
Redditors overwhelmingly support OP’s decision to hang onto her name, and not just because of how hard it is to get it changed everywhere.
She’s had the same last name for 28 years, they say, so who is her ex to tell her to change it? And besides, that’s her kids’ last name, too.
In the end, commenters think OP should use whatever name she wants.
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