A young woman turns to Reddit after calling out her friend’s new girlfriend for her “obsession” with race. The outburst has split her friend group, but who is in the wrong? Let’s take a look.
An Awkward Introduction
When Jasmine met Nick’s girlfriend for the first time, everything seemed fine.
That is until she made non-stop comments about her skin color and racial identity. Now, she’s sick of it.
Meet the Friend Group
Jasmine and Nick have been part of the same friend group for years.
Six months prior to this incident, Nick decided to introduce his new girlfriend Josie to the group.
Something in Common
While Josie seemed otherwise normal, there was one thing she and Jasmine had in common.
Both of them were mixed race (they had shared black and white heritage), whereas the rest of the friend group was white. This was not initially an issue, but that soon changed.
Out of Pocket
According to Matt, very soon after Josie was introduced to their friend group she began making “really out of pocket comments” to her about “racially related things,” quickly making Jasmine feel uncomfortable during group hangouts.
Strange Behaviour
Her comments ranged from commenting on her hair to questioning her African mother’s heritage to asking why all her friends were white.
Jasmine went out of her way to ignore or avoid these topics, but Josie’s racial fixation continued for months.
Sick of it
Jasmine, understandably tired of being singled out from the group for her race, eventually turned to Nick for help.
She communicated her extreme discomfort to him, but he defended his girlfriend and brushed his friend’s concerns aside. Why?
Trying to Find a Foothold
From Nick’s perspective, Josie was just “trying to find a foothold in the friend group” by finding things they had in common.
But Jasmine couldn’t understand why it had to be at the expense of her own comfort, and she was tired of having to put up with so many racially motivated conversations.
Boating Day
During an outing with her friend group at a weekend ‘boat day,’ Jasmine decided to put an end to Josie’s constant comments. And the opportunity quickly came.
School Discussion
While discussing previous schooling, Jasmine mentioned that one of her former schools had a predominantly Asian student population.
Josie took the opportunity to ask about the black students, and when Jasmine said that she hadn’t known them very well Josie asked, “Were you not friends with them because they thought you weren’t black enough?”
The Final Straw
This question was truly the last straw for Jasmine. “No Josie that’s not why we weren’t friends,” she started.
“Frankly the only person I’ve ever met who is obsessed with my racial identity is you. And just so you know, it’s really creepy.”
Racial Trauma
Mortified, Josie attempted to apologize but Jasmine wasn’t having it. Later that day Nick reproached her for what she’d said.
He told her that Josie was only trying to bond with her since she had her own trauma around her race and that Jasmine had “humiliated” her.
Not the Emotional Support Friend
But Jasmine didn’t budge. She told Nick she wasn’t going to be Josie’s “emotional support colored friend” and that he must have some strange ideas about her if he expected otherwise.
Unpleasant Implications
Nick didn’t take this well. He felt Jasmine was accusing him of being racist, and combined with the tense conversation between her and Josie, both he and two of their mutual friends now firmly believed that she was in the wrong.
Is She Wrong?
Hence her post on Reddit. “I don’t think I was wrong for wanting Josie to respect me like everyone else,” she wrote. But what do the commenters think?
Most in Agreement
As it turns out, though there were a lot of mixed sentiments, most people were on Jasmine’s side.
“She keeps implying you are ‘whitewashed,’ I would be beyond annoyed,” one of the top comments reads.
Too Much Insecurity
Another sharp commenter pointed out the hypocrisy of it all.
“Why is Josie so obsessed with you not hanging out with more black people, when she herself has joined a mostly white social group and is dating a white person as well? It sounds like she is projecting her insecurities.”
Someone’s Projecting
Whatever the verdict, it’s clear that at least one person in this situation, whether it was Josie, Jasmine, or Nick, let their insecurities get the best of them.
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The post “She Won’t Stop Bringing Up My Race”: Racial Obsession or Insecurity? Friend’s New Girlfriend Called “Creepy” for Constantly Fixating on Race first appeared on Mama Say What?!
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Source: Reddit
