A jilted father took to Reddit for advice after he refused to help his estranged adopted son through some tough times. It seems he only mattered when he had something to offer. Here is his full story.
He Had a Rough Start
OP and his then-wife adopted their son when he was 6 years old. The boy’s biological parents were very young and had an unstable home life.
They Made It Official
The boy was removed from the home for his well-being, and OP and his wife were happy to have them in their family. After 3 years as fosters, they made it permanent.
They Were a Real Family
Over the next 12 years, the adopted son was a vital part of OP’s family, and they all got along really well.
She Changed His World
Then, when he was 18, OP’s son met a young woman who would eventually become his wife.
He Went Back to His Roots
OP’s son told his new girlfriend that he was adopted, and she encouraged him to get closer to his biological parents. So that’s what he did.
He Left Them Behind
Over the next several years, the young man pulled away from OP and his wife and formed a much stronger bond with his bio family.
They Were Just Guests
When the young couple eventually got married, they invited OP and his wife to the wedding. But they were there as guests, not as members of the wedding party.
They Were No Longer Family
The family table at the wedding, where OP and his wife wanted to be, was reserved for the young man’s biological parents and their new spouses.
They’ve Never Even Met Her
OP and his wife also still haven’t been able to meet their granddaughter, who is about 3 years old now.
They Couldn’t Stay Together
In the meantime, OP’s wife developed a debilitating physical condition that required her to move into an extended care facility.
The couple eventually separated and divorced, though they’re still friends and care for each other.
He Wanted Her Help
Recently, OP’s son called his adoptive mother to ask for help. The young couple had run into some financial troubles and needed a place to stay since they lost their house.
He Didn’t Even Know She Was Gone
He didn’t even know that his adopted parents had split up, or that OP’s wife was no longer living at home.
He Turned to ‘Dad’
When he found out the truth, the young man turned to OP and asked if the family could move in with him until they got back on their feet.
He Was the Closest
It made the most sense, the son said, since his job was in the same city where OP lived. His biological parents and in-laws lived in different cities.
He’d Pay to Get Rid of Them
OP said no, that his son’s family could not move in with him. But he did offer to pay to relocate the young family to one of the other cities where their “real” family lives.
She Chewed Him Out
That ended the conversation from the moment, but the son’s wife called OP soon after and gave him an earful. She said he was being selfish and spiteful, and that he was abandoning his family when they needed him most.
Since When Was He Family?
OP pointed out that his son and daughter-in-law didn’t consider him family in the good times, so they shouldn’t now, either.
She Wants to Help
OP’s wife thinks he’s being too harsh and really wants him to take their son in.
He’s Had Enough Heartache
But OP is certain that his son will abandon him and his wife again as soon as they’re back on their feet. And OP just wants to spare his wife and himself going through that heartache again.
His Son Is Using Them
Redditors overwhelmingly support OP and think he is justified for refusing to take in his adopted son.
Many say it’s clear the son only wants OP and his wife in their lives when they can use them for their own gain. Commenters agree with OP that his son will toss him aside again as soon as he gets what he needs.
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