A recent post on Reddit saw a young man estranged from his mother asking if he was wrong for telling her the exact moment he lost all love and respect for her.
This sad story concerns a neglectful parent and their kids, so buckle up.
The story begins with our original poster (OP), a 21-year-old man living with his 23-year-old sister and their two younger sisters, aged 15 and 17.
His older sister currently has legal custody over their two younger siblings and has, in the past, had legal custody over him when he was still a minor.
His sister gained custody over them when she was 19 because their mom was an addict and couldn’t look after the kids. Their father had died of an overdose years before.
Their mom is currently going through end-stage renal kidney failure, brought on by all her years as an addict. She’s been on dialysis for five months now, and when she first started it, she put her son down as an emergency contact.
He “sucked it up and dealt with it” because she has no other family in this part of the country, and his older sister doesn’t talk to her (for reasons you can imagine.)
His sister not talking to his mother has been a source of anger for his mom, and she recently had her family members leave threatening text messages to his older sister. They were horrible – bad enough that his sister went to the police station.
Sadly all that the police could suggest was for her to go down to the court and get restraining orders on her mom’s family members. If she did this and they contacted her again, the officers would have legal grounds to retaliate.
This crisis peaked recently when he had to pick his mom up from the clinic. When he arrived, he told his mom she needed to put someone else down as an emergency contact, as he wouldn’t be answering those calls anymore after her family sent those texts to his sister.
His mom was angry at this and started an argument – asking him why he didn’t love her and when he stopped loving her. He’d had enough. The texts were terrible enough, but the fact that she couldn’t accept that her behavior was out of line was the last straw for the OP.
He decided to tell her, honestly and openly, the answers to her questions.
He told her the exact moment he stopped loving and respecting her was when he was 13. He had just entered high school, was on the football team, and was really into the sport. The football coach was brutal – he’d make them practice twice daily, once at 5 am and then again after school.
One morning he woke up, and his mom was on the sofa, passed out during a drug binge. They thought she’d overdosed, but she was just asleep. At this time, his older sister was 15 and freaking out because they had no food in the house (sadly, it was a common occurrence in their household).
His sister thought he would pass out from barely eating and doing all that intense football practice.
He tried to assure her that he would be fine, but she went into the kitchen, grabbed the only food they had (2 days old, almost burnt rice, salt, a can of green beans, and half a chicken breast), and made him and his siblings an entire fried rice meal.
His sister made sure he had food at 5 am that morning, and he ate it while walking to practice, crying all the way. She stayed home from school that day, like most days, to make sure their younger sisters went to school and to be there to pick them up when they finished.
When he got home that day, his sister was in the kitchen cooking dinner, and some groceries were in the fridge.
She’d got the money for these groceries by selling the family rings that their grandmother had given her to a sketchy guy that used to hang out at the local convenience store.
She did all this while their mum remained high and passed out. The OP told his mother that was when all his love and respect for her vanished. Her response? She cried and said to him that he was evil.
He was having a moral conflict, hence the post to Reddit. He just wanted to know, “should I have been softer with her? AITA?”
Redditors overwhelmingly came out in support of the OP. They thought he was not in the wrong and that his mother’s neglect of them as children was the real villain.
The top-voted commenter said, “You aren’t evil. Your mother’s neglect was. Time to go no contact with your mother and these family members. Good luck.”
Another Redditor agreed, saying, “Call the clinic yourself and say and let them know you will not be responsible for her. She didn’t take care of you when you were young and vulnerable, and she doesn’t deserve that care now that the roles are reversed.”
What do you think about this story? Was the OP in the right for being so matter-of-fact with his mother, or should he have handled her with kid gloves?
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The post His Estranged Addict Mother Was Livid When He Told Her That He’s Done With Her first appeared on Mama Say What?!
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