When a black couple chose to adopt the wife’s white niece, their daughter wasn’t happy. Now, she is threatening to cut ties with them over the adoption. Here’s the story.
An Adoption That Changed Everything
When Dominique’s half-sister passed away, it fell to her and her husband Antonne to take in their young niece.
But as time went by, the adoption had an unexpected and unhappy effect on their existing family. So, Dominique reached out to Reddit for some much-needed perspective.
Dom’s sister was much younger than her and her husband, who were in their late 40s and 50s with three adult children of their own.
When she passed away she left her 1-year-old daughter, Jane, with no father in the picture.
They Take Their Niece In
As it turned out, Dom and Antonne were the only relatives who were able to take the little girl in.
Though having another baby was the last thing they could have expected, adopting Jane was an easy decision for them. Unfortunately, not everyone agreed with the decision.
Their Children Hear the News
The older couple had three children, two sons and a daughter, all of whom were in their mid-to-late 20s.
While their sons took no issue with the adoption, the same could not be said for their daughter Destiny.
Racial Differences Arise
You see, Dom, Antonne, and all three of their children were black. Jane, on the other hand, was white, as Dom and her sister had shared a white mother and different fathers.
This seemed to be the root of the issue that would grow in their family.
The Weekend It Started
In the beginning, Destiny was indifferent toward Jane and even refused to interact with her.
Then one weekend she left her own daughter with Dom and Antonne. They sent their granddaughter home with one of Jane’s dolls, and that’s when the trouble really began.
Bad for “Self-Image”
The doll their granddaughter went home with was one of Jane’s white dolls, and Destiny was furious.
She said that it was bad for her daughter’s self-image to “play with dolls that don’t resemble her.”
Her parents waved the complaint away, explaining that children didn’t care what color their dolls were. But the conversation didn’t end there.
The Arguing Begins
Instead, it escalated into an argument.
Destiny lost it and insisted that it hurt her daughter to see her grandparents caring for a white child, and made her feel less important. But her resentments didn’t end there.
It Hurts to See
Destiny told her parents that it hurt her too. In her eyes, seeing her parents raise a white baby only highlighted how they had failed their own biological children.
She claimed that she felt betrayed to see Dom dote on Jane when she felt she had not received enough motherly love from her.
Leave Skin Color Out of It
Dom and Antonne were dismayed by their furious daughter’s outburst, and confused – they felt that their children had had a happy and loving upbringing.
They told Destiny that if she had issues about her childhood, they could talk about it, but she had to leave Jane and her skin color out of the conversation.
Anger and Resentment
“She was cold about us taking in Jane from the beginning,” Dom explained. “And it’s manifesting as genuine anger and resentment now.”
Destiny refused to continue the conversation. For days, they heard nothing from their daughter.
The Cold Shoulder
After several days went by Destiny reached out to her parents and informed them that they would not be able to see their granddaughter until they put their “‘real family’s’ needs and well-being first.”
Dom told her point-blank that Jane was part of their real family, and Destiny did not respond.
She’s Part of the Family
“I love Jane like she’s my own. My husband does as well,” a despairing Dom shared with Reddit. “My sons see her as another niece/nephew.
My daughter is the only one with any problem. How do I even rectify this situation without turning the entire family upside down?”
They’re Doing the Right Thing
Redditors were quick to jump to Dom and Antonne’s defense and dismiss Destiny’s outrage.
“How can your daughter not see that caring for a child that has lost her mother […] is much different than being a grandparent to a child who has her parents around caring for her?” one commenter asked.
Race Has Nothing to Do With it
And other commenters wasted no time pointing out the concerning prejudice that Destiny was exhibiting.
“This is just pure jealousy and a good dose of racism,” one claimed, while another said, “Race shouldn’t be an issue here, but your daughter is making it one in a situation that has nothing to do with it.”
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Samuel Borges Photography. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.