She Doesn’t Want Her Step-Daughter to Move Back Home After Rehab, But If It Happens, Her House, Her Rules

A Reddit user asked the community if she was wrong for being against her step-daughter moving back in and setting up strict rules if she did.

Blended Family

The Orignal Poster (OP) has been with her husband for 10 years. He had two daughters from a previous marriage, who are now in their twenties.

The Trouble Begins

OP says the daughter in question has had a boyfriend since her junior year of high school.

Bad Influence

The boyfriend was bad news and began using drugs, escalating from pot and to heroin. He also influenced the daughter to start doing drugs as well.

Suspected Theft

The daughter managed to finish high school but had no plans beyond that. During this time, the daughter wouldn’t come home for days and OP noticed cash starting to disappear around the house.

The daughter never admitted to taking the money, but OP suspected it was her.

Her Ring Went Missing!

The situation reached the breaking point when OP’s engagement ring went missing. The daughter continued to plead innocence and said she did not steal anything. OP’s husband wants to believe his daughter didn’t steal anything, but deep down, he suspects she did take the money and ring.

Daughter Leaves Home

After that, the daughter left home, she either lived with her boyfriend or stayed with friends. OP and her husband didn’t see her for a few years. OP’s husband was very upset since she was his baby daughter and he always had a soft spot for her.

Asking for a Second Chance

The daughter has since reached out to OP and her husband. They subsequently paid for her rehab and continuing treatment.

The daughter wants to move back in with OP and her husband. OP is hesitant and thinks they should just pay for transitional housing for her instead.

She Doesn’t Trust Her

OP still doesn’t trust the daughter completely and is worried that she will return to doing drugs while living with them. The daughter claims she is recovered, but OP believes recovery takes longer than 60 days.

The New Rules

OP has set up some strict ground rules if the daughter is to move back in with them. The few she has in mind include:

• She must admit to and apologize for her past transgressions and theft.
• She gets a bedroom in the basement.
• She’s not allowed in the rest of the house when OP and her husband are not present.
• Even when OP is home, the daughter cannot go upstairs (this is due to the jewelry and items that are on this level).
• She must continue outpatient treatment or counseling, get a job, or start taking classes.
• She will need to keep the basement clean and help with basic house chores (clean up after meals, empty the dishwasher, etc).
• She will have a curfew (time TBD) and she needs to share her location with OP’s husband on her phone.

OP would also like to add a few more rules as well and is working on what those would be.

Is She Being Too Harsh?

OP is concerned she might be coming off as insensitive. The daughter said the rules were unfair and that OP was treating her like a criminal. Even OP’s husband is concerned that “locking her in the basement” is going too far.

Reddit Community

Reddit users chimed in with their thoughts on the thread. Some agreed with OP and said that she should continue to push for transitional housing so that she didn’t have to create all these rules in her own home.

One user wrote “Don’t fight this battle on your own, though. Let the experts at rehab tell your husband what your daughter’s best next steps are. If they can’t speak about his daughter specifically, ask them to speak generally.”

Another Reddit user commented that they had similar rules when they moved back in with their parents after rehab. They stated that these rules were needed for them to understand boundaries and have some structure in their lives. The Reddit user also mentioned that recovery can take a lifetime as well and that OP should understand that as well.

What do you think? Should OP keep these rules in place for her stepdaughter?​​

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