His sister has lost her daughter for the second time, or at least it felt that way and all he has to say is “I told you so.”
His Sister Has Had a Hard Time
The Original Poster’s (OP) sister, who is 32 years old, has had a tumultuous journey in life.
Her Struggle With Addiction
She has struggled with addiction for many years and has started on the path to recovery.
She Got Pregnant While Addicted
During her addiction, she became pregnant and was unable to overcome her drug use.
Her Newborn Was Taken Away at Birth
As a result, she failed a drug test while pregnant, and her newborn daughter was taken away from her at birth and placed with a foster family.
The Devastating Loss Triggered Recovery
His sister was devastated by the loss of her daughter and felt she had lost everything. But she didn’t give up on herself and decided to take responsibility for her actions.
She’s Now on a Better Path
She went to rehab, got a job, and has been sober for 12 years. Despite her efforts to turn her life around, her daughter has little to no attachment to her.
Getting to See Her Daughter Weekly
While his sister can have supervised visitation with her daughter for a few hours every weekend, her daughter has no real connection to her and sees her adopted family as her own.
Her Daughter Has Made a Hurtful Decision
Finally, at the age of 12, her daughter decided she doesn’t want to see her birth mother anymore. She doesn’t want to be burdened with spending 90 minutes every Saturday with someone she now sees as a stranger.
The Devastating Loss of Losing Her Daughter Again
This news absolutely devastated his sister because she has worked tirelessly to stay clean and repent for her mistakes from the past but to no avail.
“I Told You So”
OP tried to comfort her and reminded her that her daughter lacked attachment to her because of her drug use during pregnancy.
The Blame Game
He also added that things would have been different if she had stayed clean. His sister accused him of being unsympathetic and unkind.
She’s Standing Up For Herself
She felt he did not understand what it was like to give birth to a child and never meet her. She also accused him of belittling her efforts to get her life back on track.
Their Mother Gets Involved
Their mother found out about the argument and tried to mediate between the two siblings. While she agreed with OP’s view, she felt it was not the right time to bring it up.
Everybody Was Hurt
She believed her daughter needed comfort and support, not judgment and blame.
What Redditors Said
One user said, “She’s been sober for TWELVE YEARS, and your “I told you so” commentary is cruel. It is entirely her fault, and she’s of all people, knows that.”
Another wrote, “I’m sorry, am I the only 1 who can do math here?” Your sister had the child when she was 20, probably got pregnant when she was 19, and was a heroin addict for a couple years before that? She was a child and got into a life destroying drug. Where were your parents?”
Was he wrong for telling his sister these are the consequences of her actions? Should she see her daughter despite her daughter’s wishes?
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The post He Coldly Told His Sister “I Told You So” After She Lost Her Daughter for the Second Time. Was He Being Too Harsh After How Far She’d Come? first appeared on Mama Say What?!
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Source: Reddit